my engagement was one thing, but i've been dreamingabout this day my whole life. my friends are here. my very traditional familyis here. you're making usproud, son. of course, we would've preferred a catholic priest, but... this is tradition, adam. the dress, the ceremony,the cake. it all symbolizes true love.
nope, those traditions represent one thing-- money. in fact, this entire ceremony has been hijacked by a greedy industrylooking to make a buck. (cash register ringing) but this is the wayweddings have always been! wrong again. american weddings were once informal affairs, held in homes or at community events like barn raisings or corn-husking bees.
i hereby pronounce you man and wife. you may now eat the corn. (whirring effect) uh, nice try, adam, but...that's not a real wedding. she's not evenwearing white. that meansshe's not a virgin. ow.no, you lout. it means i'm not rich. back then, white fabric was almost impossible to clean,
so a white dress was only meant to be worn once. poor folks can't afford that. we got to make our dresses last. brown don't show the dirt. it wasn't till i,queen victoria, wore a white dress to my wedding that other brides began to copy me to show off their wealth. but even then, it was strictly for the well-to-do. thinks she's so good in her more-than-one dress.
(coughing) and her more-than-one lung. even white wedding cakeswere all about braggin'. white sugar back thenwas so expensive, it was basicallyedible bling. oh! my cake is as white as all my friends.
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