hello everybody! my name is markiplier and i am officially back! yes! yes! yeaaah! back in more ways than one. i am back in la, my voice is back in commission, i am back from christmas vacation, and my hair is back to its normal color! and i know what you're all thinking. i hear it being screamed into the comment section below right along side all those spambots, "why? why? why? why? oh god fucking why is your
hair not red?" and i know that's a perfectly logical and, and... *gunshot* (oml be careful you perfect person) oops. ...and reasonable question to ask, but yes, my hair is back to its original color. and no, it didn't all grow out, it is actually been dyed back to my original color. it's a pretty good job. you can still see a little bit of red through there but i am very
happy to be back in my natural hair colour. and to answer the question "why?" so when i dyed it back in september of 2015, last - last year i can say now i did it for the charity stream because we raised a certain amount of money, i dyed my hair bright pink because that's what i promised, uh and i kept it, i-i kept it because i thought it looked good. i didn't care what anybody said, i looked fucking great, i looked amazing with it, and i really liked it, and i kept it for
another, a few other personal reasons, and i thought it was really good, but i'd never intended it to be a permanent fixture. i didn't even intended for it to be there for like a year. it was really interesting because in the past year, i've been to a couple of my friend's weddings, and now, forever, when i look back at those wedding photos, i'm gonna see me in bright red hair, so, that's a thing that's gonna be there for eternity and forever. but i'd always
intended to go back to my original hair colour because, #1, and anyone who has coloured hair knows this, it's a fucking nightmare to maintain. you would not believe the shit you have to do just to keep your hair a bright, vibrant, fucking red! like my god, it's obscene, you have to go like every month to get it touched up, and then for like a few days after that, your hair just bleeds out red everywhere, stains absolutely everything in your
house, and in my house, i'm an idiot enough that i have white towels!! what kind of?? i haven't even bought red towels in the entire year that i've had red hair! i have not bought red towels! what kind of idiot am i?! i'm an adult! aah! fuck! anyways, so, there's a number of other reasons why i wanted to go back, but i'm very happy to be back to my original colour, and eventually it will all grow out and then just be all natural and not dyed black. so,
those are the reasons to quell those thoughts. yes, i know. it's jarring and i'm wearing glasses again, what's up with that? it's a new year and i've got a lot of things that i'm committed to, but i'll get to that in a second, we've got more important things. yay! 16 million! woohoo! okay, alright, that's enough celebrating, that was exactly the amount of celebrating quota to do. so i have an idea, it's my sweet 16, and i don't know how creepy that sounds
but, yeh so that's the theme, okay, that's the theme of this. so basically, we're at 16 million subscribers and i found a little test, it's called the 'mental age test', and what it does is you answer a few questions and it determines what your "mental age" is, so i'm a 27 year old man, adult man, and i have a little wager to put against this, because people seem to think that i'm an immature man baby. people have called me as such on the internet
but i'm (ow) i am an mature adult and i know exactly what i'm doing in my life so, here's the wager: if - if - if if i take this test and it says that my mental age is sixteen or lower, i will allow tyler and ethan
to subject me with whatever punishment they deem worthy and i will accept it, no matter what it is. they are- i'm writing a blank cheque to them to torture me in whatever way they see fit. it could be mental torture, it could be physical torture it could be the tennis ball launcher to the balls, which is an option on the table because i'm confident that i am a mature - i don't know why i'm laughing -
i am a mature adult with mature thoughts in my head! if it's sixteen or lower, they are gonna torture me. if it's seventeen and up, i'm good. if it's 27 on the dot, *screaming into the distance* i'll get one billion subscribers!!! ok, so this the 'mental age test' and it's pretty simple. there's 20 statements, the answers are multiple choice,
your first answer is your final answer. statements are selected at random. millions of people have taken this test so the stakes are pretty high and the average age is actually 23, so i got a pretty good chance of walking outta here with my testicles intact! huehehahahe haboo- ok the best thing on tv is...
oh boy... "there's never anything good on tv". i hope that means i'm an old man! you've forgotten where you put your keys... ohhh nooo. literally always "twice already today". oh no - i'm old! i'm old and forgetful! i'm an old man! "you read apple have launched a new iphone, you think..." ah, fuck. i got this one as soon as it came out. i'm an asshole.
"birthdays are..." bullshit i don't want any presents i don't want anything to happen on my birthday if-if i can do anything, i'm gonna spend my birthday on someone else! "something to ignore, thank you" because i'm an old man that has had too many birthdays! "you find an old shirt in the wardrobe. you..." "can't believe you ever wore that and throw it out, keep it for decorating, consider giving it to charity, put it on, wonder how you ever managed to fit in it,"
*laughing* wardr- yeah, uh, wardrobe? i dont know what you're talking about. "you get passed on the motorway by a ferrari. you think..." *deep voice* bet the driver is a wanker. actually, what i think is they'll not get there any quicker, which i'm pretty sure is an old man thought. "you finish your meal in a restaurant. you..." doodle-doo-doo-doo "make sure you go to the toilet before you leave, order coffee, empty the tray into the bin
ask whether a tip is included, wonder which pub to go to." i-i'm a - i'm a cleanly, studious patron of a restaurant and i always make sure my tray is clean. "twitter is..." *groan of frustration* twitter is essential, for me. for me, i can't answer that not essential. "mcdonald's is..." oh no oh god no people are gonna judge me! uahhaaaahhh i eat more mcdonald's than i should, everytime i go there
which is more often that it should, i feel awful but i but i go! "ok for a quick snack." i can't- "you're planning a house party. you..." "think about telling your neighbors" - well this is - i don't plan parties so this is not me. "think about telling your neighbors, find out where the cheapest vodka is, make a list of people *start laughing* you aren't going to invite, plan out which games to play." yeah- i'm just going to think abou all the people i'm not going to invite because i i don't know where the not do this option is. eugh.
alright, "you see someone fall over on the street. do you..." "run over to make sure they're ok." yeah, that's probably me. "the best way to become rich is..." to work hard. "baseball caps look better..." forwards "dire straits were..." oh boy .....*nervous* uh *nervous laugh* i don't know i'm not good with music! i'm not musically inclined!
uh... who? i don't know who that is! "politically, you are..." uh, liberal? "you think a pension plan is..." "not what you though it would be, important, something worth considering, something for later." uh, it's important. invest early kids! this is an old man thing to say. "it's hot, you want an ice cream. you buy..." a magnum? you-you-you-you buy a you buy a magnum?
a m- a m- this? is this what you buy? on a hot summer day? "an ice lolly..." i'm beginning to think that this might be a british test. i'm guessing that this is like a fruit.. popsicle type thing? so i'll- i'll go with that one. "your prime minister/president looks..." he look- he looks alright - old. "miley cyrus is like, so over, a bit racy, quite good looking, everything that's wrong with kids today, a victim." these are none of the choices that i want to answer.
uh, like so over? i haven't heard about miley cyrus in a while. then again, i don't look. "the ipad is..." cooooooooooool? and that's it! and my age- oh god no what!? seven?!? *high-pitched scream* that can't be right i am a mature adult!!! i am a mature adult!!
oh god! *laughing* oh noo! oh noo! *laughing* heugh, maybe there's like a two hidden here? heh, is there like, some sort of 2? so that punishment... it's going to be in another video because ethan isn't home yet, but i'm gonna call him.
*phone ringing* mark: oh boy. mark: hey, are you busy right now? ethan: uh... ethan: i'm at... ethan: you're upside down. mark: you're upside down! ethan: yeah, what's up? mark: okay, so i'm recording a video and i was recording a video to celebrate 16 million.
so i had this bet. there's the mental age test, which is like you answer questions and it determines your age so i said- i said, if-if it said my mental age was 16 and under, i would let you and tyler pick whatever punishment you want on me. and uh, i said if it was 17 or over, i'd be totally fine. um... it said i was... i had a mental age of 7. *ethan laughs* *mark laughs*
mark: yeah. so, when you get here, tomorrow, ethan: yeah. mark: decide what to do and then... go easy on me. *laughs* ethan: *laughing* i got a mental age of 7. i don't know how! i thought i was answering old people's answers! mark: wha-how am i horrible?! i can't help that!
i know! i think it was bugged. i'm not sure. thank youuuu. i think. bye! byeee! maybe i could try it again.. maybe.. maybe i could try it again! not really much that could-- yup. okay. alright.
well. *clicks tongue* seven's what it is... unless that's a joke! i don't know. so anyway, that is that and we will do that and that is cool that that is happening! but bottomline is thank you everybody for 16 million subscribers. that is an astonishing number of people. i'm just grateful that every day i get to make videos for you guys.
i can't wait to get through this year. some of the uh, i'll go over really quickly some of the.. new years resolutions that i got for the entirety of this year are to work out every day. for an hour. and then to practice guitar for an hour every day. and then uh- also to learn german-- or practicing learning german. an hour. every day. and that's three hours of my life dedicated to improving myself
and getting myself back on schedule. and so far it's been good! it's been really good. but we'll see how it goes once i'm in la and we're making videos full time again. so... either way, thank you everybody so much for being here with me and thank you so much for watching for so long. thank you again for watching this video and look forward to the punishment very, very soon. thanks again and as always,
i will see you in the next video! buh-bye!
No comments:
Post a Comment